Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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