This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
