Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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