I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize