I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Randomize
