Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
