When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
