Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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