Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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