My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
