Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
