DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize