I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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