Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
