In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
