office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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