I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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