Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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