Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
