She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize