you guys were way drunker than both of me
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
