1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
