found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's never too late to be topless.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
