That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
