alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
