Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
