I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
