Where did you get a picture of my penis
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
