I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
