You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
