That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
