his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
