You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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