Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Randomize
