Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Jr905 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk

Fav 18 2834 1847
share tweet
(831): View more from California

theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it

Fav 216 35069 2921
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(615): View more from Tennessee

I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...

Fav 8 1347 3244
share tweet
(251): View more from Alabama

I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party

Fav 12 4134 1449
share tweet
(870): View more from Arkansas

So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button

Fav 50 9977 3497
share tweet
(941): View more from Florida

I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.

Fav 4 1560 989
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.

Fav 7 1267 603
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato

Fav 0 38 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything

Fav 0 34 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT