I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize