You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize