Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
