Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
