I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I pour the whiskey from now on
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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