your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Congratulations! We have a period
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