I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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