This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize