just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize