the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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