11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
