Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
