Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I want a musical about memes.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
