Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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