seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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