i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
