new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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