The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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