This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize