And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
