i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
