I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
