I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
