It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
