So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just google imaged poop.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
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