Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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