new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
